You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
