The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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