Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize