i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
