I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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