Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
