The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
this hospital has no fireball
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
