I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize