to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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