..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
