i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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