I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
MIDGETS
????
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
