He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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