first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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