now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
