It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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