i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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