I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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