so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
