He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize