Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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