i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
