My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
