so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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