we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
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The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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