That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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