My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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