she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
