my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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