don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
