Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize