woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
