i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
