she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
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High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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