Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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