Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
