i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
