We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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