So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
