Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Im part way to drunk.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
