I think I died a long time ago.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
