It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
