Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
