suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
