There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
