my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
being pregnant is like rehab
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
