What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
