Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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