I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
