I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
