Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.

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(314): View more from Missouri

i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating

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(605): View more from South Dakota

We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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(313): View more from Michigan

My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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(719): View more from Colorado

I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.

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(212): View more from New York

last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.

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(518): View more from New York

he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.

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