Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
