Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
