what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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