I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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